Dear First-Gen Muslim, You’re Doing Better Than You Think

Dear first-generation Muslim, I know you’re tired. Not just physically tired, but the kind of exhaustion that lives in your bones, the kind that comes from holding two worlds at once. You’ve spent your life translating languages, emotions, and expectations. You’ve been the bridge between generations, often without anyone stopping to ask if your feet were getting tired from standing in the middle.

You are constantly navigating who you’re supposed to be to your family, to your community, to the world, while still trying to figure out who you actually are. You carry the weight of your parents’ sacrifices with gratitude, but also with guilt. You love them deeply, but sometimes you need space to breathe, to grow, to do things differently. And that tension? It’s not easy. It’s the quiet grief of choosing healing in a family that survived by suppressing pain.

You’ve had to explain therapy, boundaries, rest, not just to others, but to yourself. You’ve had to unlearn the idea that your worth is only tied to how useful, obedient, or successful you are. That takes courage. That is not small work. That is sacred work.

Some days you may feel like you’re behind. Like everyone else has it figured out while you’re still trying to catch your breath. But I need you to hear this: you are not behind. You are building a life that’s never been modelled for you. You are doing something your ancestors only dreamed of. You are holding your culture in one hand and your healing in the other, and somehow, you're still standing. Still soft. Still believing. That is not weakness, that is strength.

Allah sees your struggle. He sees the way you show up for your family, even when your own cup is empty. He sees the silent prayers, the inner battles, the nights you cried and still got up the next morning.

Your effort is not invisible. Your growth is not too slow. Your softness is not a liability. You are not too much. You are not failing. You are not alone.

And you are doing better than you think. :)

Written by Intisar Farah